The Orbiter Theory

This is an other article from my research series. It is about how orbiters can be identified mathematically by analyzing social websites. The theory behind this research is mainly based on the orbiter definition as given by Rollo Tomassi. An orbiter is a man who tries to get a women but she is keeping him in safe distance. (Well, that’s rather the scientific definition. Thomassi himself would rather find some more informal, vernacular words: An orbiter is a frustrated chump who desperately wants to lay a women but almost never succeeds.) Back to science. Unintentionally, by this term Tomassi made a remarkable contribution to science because there is more about an orbit than just circling the sun and never touching it. More important for mathematical analysis is the parameters of an orbit. An orbit is usually elliptic, so we have a point where the orbiting object is closest (Perihelion) and farthest (Aphelion) from the sun. The same holds true for male orbiters. Though in a man it is not about distance in space but rather mood swings. If in his Perihelion an orbiter is happy in his Aphelion he becomes sad. As always, social computing runs into the same problem: How to measure it, happiness or sadness, for instance? It’s simply impossible, but its never necessary 🙂 Because of its orbit with perihelion and aphelion it is only necessary to measure mood swings. In Facebook it is just counting the Comments and Likes. It is quite possible to tell an orbiter apart by just these periodic mood swings. By contrast an ordinary friend shows such swings at random if at all. There is an other function that adds to the identification of orbiters. That is what I use to call the concordance function, the degree by which an orbiter shows concordance with his object of desire. An orbiter always gets excited if the women he adores shows a similar emotional reaction. The principle is explained in the following picture.

An orbiter signals in social media as soon as his mood is about the same as expressed by the object of his desire.

An orbiter signals in social media as soon as his mood is about the same as expressed by the object of his desire.

If a man is in his aphelion and the women dispatches a message of sadness he feels understood and will message back. By contrast the orbiter in his perihelion feels misunderstood and annoyed. He wont message. If she signals happiness all will reverse. Some women develop a remarkable talent in keeping men spinning, of up to 100 orbiters. Private note: Whenever I get attracted by a women my orbit becomes rather that of a comet: I come closer to the sun, but I get farther away as well. That’s my destiny.

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